Battle of the Brillo Pads

The Battle of the Brillo Pads      659 words

8^th Nov. 2016

I’d never been without a Brillo Pad underneath my kitchen sink. How do people manage without a Brillo Pad to rely on in times of burnt porridge spillages, crispy bacon fat splashes or cake mixture drippings? Ah! I hear you say…’They don’t make porridge, crispy bacon or cakes’. Well be that as it may. I do!

I had a problem. Not a huge problem, but a niggling quest to clear the grill pan of its’ ever so lightly sprinkling of black spots. No, not serious. Some might say it was a petty thing to hang out for…a Brillo Pad to clear it up with. 30 seconds I would have said to clean the grill pan with a Brillo pad. And every time the pan was going back into the oven, the black spots hardened themselves under the high temperatures and came out glaring at me ,  rebuking me for not cleansing the surface properly.

So I began my campaign. ‘You don’t seem to have any Brillo Pads under here. Shall I put them on the shopping list?’

‘Er’ squeaky voice replies, ‘Er. Where are they for?’   Afterthought…….a kind word or two were spoken.

‘Um. Just this grill pan. Look. Some black spots. That’s all.’

‘Er. Well. Er. What if they got used on the Teflon pans…er, by accident?’

‘Well, they wouldn’t, would they? You don’t use Brillo Pads on a Teflon pan!’.

‘Yes, I know , normally you wouldn’t, but what if, say, accidentally, they did?’

‘OK. Well I’ll try another way to clean it up. Not a problem’.

And ten days passed.

‘Oops. Look, careful!’ in a panicky voice. ‘That’s a metal spoon in your hand and you’re working with a Teflon pan!!’ the horror was tangible.

‘No, it’s OK. I know what I’m doing. Just checking the sauce, look. Not touching the pan with the metal spoon’…..a kind word or two.

Ha Ha. Right. Clocked it. It’s the Teflon pans that are sacrosanct.

And another ten days pass……another ten days of further encrustation of the aforementioned grill pan.

‘I’m putting Brillo Pads on the shopping list.’

‘What for?’

‘I need them. Look….this metal pan has a scorched bottom now. A Brillo Pad would fix that in no time’.

Silence.    He has seen the damage.   Stalemate.

I wrote Brillo Pads on the shopping list.

Later that same day in Sainsbury’s supermarket.

‘Nearly finished. Just Toffee flavoured popcorn, chocolate covered raisins and Brillo Pads to get and we’re finished’. I look down an aisle away from my opponent.

Quietly, but with a determined walk……..very determined walk actually, very upright and at speed, he heads for the household cleaning aisle.

I saunter down in my own time.

‘Ha. Look…none left’. He is gloating. And I won’t have it. He is pretending to look fervently.

‘Mmmmm. None at all?’, I question, bending to see more clearly where the offending blighters should have been awaiting collection.

‘No. None. That’s it then’.

‘Ah, no. Phhew!. One box lurking at the back there’….and I dig deep under the shelf and grab my saviours.

The eyes tell me so much. He’s hurt and concerned. ‘Don’t worry. Please. I promise. I promise I will never, ever, no, not ever, never use them on a Teflon pan. Ever.’   A vacant expression is the response. ‘I’ll tell you what, I’ll give you the Brillo Pads and ask for one when it’s absolutely necessary. OK? Is that agreed?’ more kind words to settle the dust and smooth the ruffled feathers. He’s going to be a bit difficult to convince. Best to leave this incident to settle and move on.

‘Right. Raisins and pop-corn. OK?’ and the moment has passed.

Several days have passed and I find I have a quiet moment to myself. So what shall I do? Watch a bit of TV? Read my book? Call a friend?

Yeah. You bet.  Came up lovely it did!!